Looking Into Your Eyes
by K-Shandra
Summary: it's another one of those where Gibbs doesn't find Abby in her lab in the morning.
1. Chapter 1

**Title** : Looking Into Your Eyes  
 **Genre** : NCIS – Romance /Angst.  
 **Pairing** : Gibbs and Abby  
 **Rating** : M, I don't know where I'm going with it.  
 **Timeline** : Um, um, well I didn't think that one through, ugh, go season 11, although I haven't seen it, only clips. Some mention of season 10 (currently screening here)  
 **Spoilers** : Many… and once again used without discretion.  
 **Summary** : This is what happens when I visit You Tube, but yeah it's another one of those where Gibbs doesn't find Abby in her lab in the morning.

 **Disclaimer** : Not mine, I promise, sigh.  
 **A/N** : thanks to all the Gabby vid producers out there, without them my muse won't get kick started.  
 **Started** : Mid September 2014  
 **Language** : International English.  
 **Word Count** : 2,283  
 **Trigger** : It's easy to carry your heart on your sleeve, when you're not looking the person in the eye.

*·.·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·. N.C.I.S. GABBY.·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·.·*

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open and, as every other morning, Gibbs strode out with a Caff-Pow! in one hand and a coffee in the other. They had closed the case the day before and the others were finalizing their reports, leaving him with a few moments to enjoy her company, alone.

He entered the lab, which although lit was not filled with her music. In fact the very stillness of it got his gut tweaking. "Abbs! Abby!" He called and there was no response. "Abby!" He called more urgently.

Silence.

He was just about to head for her office, when a tall lanky man in a lab coat stepped from it. Gibbs felt his heart grow heavy, but not with concern, and felt his shoulders droop. He had hoped to spend some time with her, well before they caught their next case, Gavin's presence there only reminded him that she had put in some time to attend some refresher course in some or another lab matter, he had even signed off on it. All that he knew of the course was that it was one that would help her give him results and she had wanted to go. He's never questioned her desire, her reasons to go, although he abhorred her absence.

"Good morning Agent Gibbs, is there something I can do for you?" Gavin politely asked.

Gibbs shook his head, "I thought Abby would be in this morning, before she…" He left the rest unsaid, not actually wanting to admit to anyone how these things affected him.

"Oh she was, she just came in to give me the keycard for the storage room."

Gibbs felt his heart grow heavy, he had missed her, she always said good bye before leaving on these things.

"I'll call her later," Gibbs said, turning from the man and moving towards the elevator.

They caught a case later that day which helped to distract him of her absence, although not entirely. He had McGee take the evidence down to the lab, and did not even react when the young man said Abby was not in the lab. On any other day he would have been the first to react, but this time it was Bishop.

"Wasn't she going to that forensic conference in New York."

Gibbs felt his blood run cold, she had not told him where she was going for the course. New York! Abby? His overly trusting Abby in such a city… yet he calmly lifted his head and looked at them, causing both of them to return to their work.

Later that evening, after he had sent DiNozzo and Bishop out on a lead, and McGee was down in the lab, fiddling with the victim's laptop, he sat back and pulled out his cell phone.

He scrolled through the contacts, although he could hit her speed dial without thinking of it, but he was still trying to decide whether he should call her or not. They never spoke when she was away on these things, but part of him wanted to know that she was safe. He looked at his watch, it was approaching eleven and he had no idea whether she would be asleep our out socializing with the other lab rats. That was another thing that got to him, whenever she went on these things, the chance that she could meet someone, someone more like her, and then that would be it, his girl will be his no longer.

But then she could then also be out, and in trouble. New York was not the safest city… but he didn't want to disturb her if she was out having a good time, he had always granted her that, had vowed to keep his distance – to a point. To not allow things to become more, or be considered as more that a good friendship.

He again unlocked his phone and navigated to the messages, everyone thought he didn't know how to sent these but he did, it was just easier to have them believe that he couldn't. That way they would rather phone him. He simply preferred not to communicate in such a manner.

He typed out his message, a simple "How's things?" and sent it to her. She knew him well enough to know what he meant. He waited several moments, then thought she had possibly gone to bed already. He placed his phone on the table, deciding to go over some of the case details, and pulled the folder towards him, flipping through it. It contained the usual background checks, lists of family members, some photos.

He had just started reading when his phone buzzed, he looked at it over the folder, frowning when he noticed the lit screen. It took a moment for him to realize what it meant; okay, so maybe he was not as practiced at it as others, but he could do it if needed,

He reached out and picked up the phone, unlocking it before selecting the message, without needing to check who it was from, and smiled.

Her. "What's wrong?" Was all the message contained, yet he could hear the demand in her voice, as good as if she were standing right there beside him.

He quickly composed his message, well as quickly as he could, and then sent it: "Nothing wrong Abbs, just checking."

Again he was greeted by silence and was just about to put down his phone, when it again chirped.

He selected her message, having realized she was a lot quicker on it than he was; "Gibbs NEVER messages, so where is my Gibbs? McGee this had better not be you playing games."

"It's me Abbs," he again composed, having to delete things several times before firing it off to her. There was some silence, longer this time, and he was again about to return the phone to his table when it buzzed. "Prove it! tell me something only Gibbs would know."

He looked dumbfounded at the screen. How was he supposed to answer that? There was no way he could know the answer to that, no way he could know what she had shared with the others, what she might have told them. He thought about it for several minutes, there were several pieces of key information that only a select few knew. So he thought back, thought of something only he would know, could know, and settled on the one event, the one thing he knew no one else would know, she would have felt too ashamed, had felt too ashamed to tell anyone. He punched out the message, silently swearing at his clumsy fingers when he needed to erase the wrong character and start again. Although he finally completed it, short and to the point. "You damaged Kelly."

He waited, wondering if she would remember that, she had had too much to drink, spoke openly about things, Had cause him to realize feel things he knew he shouldn't have.

Again he waited, looking at the screen, his heart thudding. Why? He was uncertain, but it felt strange, different. He looked at the phone, uncertain whether he should put it down, when it again chirped.

He opened the message and smiled as he read it, "You bored with your date or something?"

He thought over an appropriate response, there were so many things he could send back to her, they had often flirted, and she knew he wasn't seeing anyone. He finally decided that the truth would be best; "Caught a case, waiting for results." He fired it off and waited only a few moments before the response came: "So you would have come to see me anyway. Anything I can help with?"

He thought over his response, pondered on it. It was so easy to pull her into things, she could make him think, make him reach for things, think laterally. Her mind could puzzle the pieces together, much better than anyone else he knew, She complimented him, in so many ways. And after so many years he could understand her gibberish, could follow her. He had even read up on some stuff, not that he'd let her know that, but he liked being able to keep up with her, to watch her go through her paces. without needing to completely simplify things for him, although he knew she did so, anyway.

"We're good. Just checking in, ya didn't say goodbye."

He again waited for her response, and stated to understand how it was that young people could spend hours looking at their phones, although phoning was much easier, much quicker.

His phone again chimed: "You were late. You're usually earlier on those mornings, but then you did finish late last night. Anything I can help with?"

"No. We're good. Anything interesting? The geeks checking you out?"

There was some wait before her message came through, "None of them smell like sawdust. And if they were looking I'd not be interested."

Her response had him first smile then frown. They had flirted often, he knew not to let it go to his head, but sometimes things did, and he questioned his stance on matters. No it was better this way, although he had little idea of where her relationships stood, hadn't for a while. He knew all women liked attention, and as far as he knew she was not seeing anyone, or she might be, but has not gotten to the point where she would open up about the news.

He also knew she would take his next question lightly, well not as seriously as some other women would, they would think he was fishing, and he was, actually. " Why are you not seeing anyone?" Yet as he sent it off, he suddenly felt as if he had gone too far. He also did not know what he would say if she did own up to being involved with someone.

There was a long wait afterwards, causing his brow to furrow. He checked his watch, thinking it was possible that she could have drifted off, although he doubted that. And on the back of that the thought suddenly came to him; she could be in bed, and he'd been keeping her awake, that she possibly had a whole line of lectures and presentations to attend in the morning, knowing her.

Just as he was about to return to the file, his phone chimed. He again selected the message and felt his hand tighten on the phone. He tried to take in the words, keeping in mind that she was probably on teasing him, riling him, IT was better if he imagined her saying them with a teasing smile and tone, but it seemed too difficult in the end. "Not interested, because my heart has long since been claimed."

By who? Was his first thought. Why didn't he know thereof? Over the years he had learn to accept their relationship for what it was, close, affectionate, without the expectations, the pain. Although there had been moments he had felt her pain as strongly as she had. He hated it when she was upset, or hurting. He had never allowed another as close…his heart had remained un-bruised that way. Yet he could not come up with a response, and in a way he was thankful that they were doing this over the phone, that way she could not see his response, or know how severely the thought of her loving someone other than him affected him. Well it was not the fact that she loved somebody other than him, because he knew there were many whom she loved. But to say her heart had been claimed, when he ad no idea who it could be, that affected him.

He thought back to the last time they had spent time together, it had been to watch the one game… he had not picked up anything out of sorts with her, and that was only a few weeks before. She had been her usual self. He knew he should not pry, even if she had said something, he knew she would only tease him for it is. She was pulling his leg, again.

So he went the flirting route. "Lucky guy, what are you up to?" After he sent it, he thought it better if they called it a night, that he was probably keeping her from sleep.

His phone chirped several moments later, "In bed, was reading when you messaged."

He smiled as he replied, It became easier with practice. "The seminar that boring?" he could not help it, it was out before he could prevent it.

A few moments later, "The same old, same old. Same old faces, several of the subjects are the same."

Gibbs smiled, "Well I should let you get to bed, enjoy it." He fired it off and expected no reply, so he placed the phone on the table, only to have it buzz again.

He picked it up and read, "We should do this again, it's fun." and smiled. He was not certain if he could call it fun, it was frustrating, or at least he found it frustrating.

He pocketed his phone, thinking if he replied again, it was umlikely that they would end the conversation any time soon and returned to the file, reading through it.

The leads ran cold and he sent everyone home, there was nothing more they could do until the lab results were in, and even though he knew Abby would have remained the whole night, standing guard over her machines, he knew he could not expect that from Gavin, so he sent everyone home.

*·.·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·. N.C.I.S. GABBY.·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·.·*


	2. Chapter 2

**Title** : Looking Into Your Eyes – Chapter two  
 **Disclaimer** : Not mine, I promise, sigh.  
 **Written** : December 2015  
 **Language** : International English.  
 **Word Count** : 2,540

*·.·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·. N.C.I.S. .·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·.·*

They caught a break in the case just before lunch, with only the paperwork to conclude when quitting time came, thus he sent the team home. And followed them not too long after that. It was strange not to usher her from the lab and then convince her to get something to eat with him. He held the thought for a moment, and tried to think back to when that had become a habit. They had been doing it for so long already that it seemed second nature, there had only been a few instances where she had claimed other engagements, and that was usually to go bowling, and he knew exactly when those evenings were.

He had received a message from her that morning, that she was in lectures for the better part of the day, yet as he sat on his couch that evening looking at his phone the temptation was overly strong. He checked the time, it was still early. Part of him wanted to contact her but the other part knew he had to let her go, let her be, that it was better that way. Sighing he placed the phone back on the coffee table, and resigned himself to a night of reading.

Just then his phone chimed and he picked it up, reading the sender's name and smiled before opening the message. "How's the case? Need Help?"

He composed a reply; "Closed it today," feeling frustrated at his need to erase things several times, he now understood why everyone liked the phones with full keypads, and sent it off. And only afterwards wanted to kick himself because his usual dismissive manner would not have her send a reply. He was about to start with another less formal one his phone chimed.

"What? No date?" Her question had him smile. For quite some time since he has abstained from dating, tired of getting his heart dented, again. The relationships may not have been the most serious, but he had made efforts in the past, it was just with Abby it was so easy to be affectionate, so easy just to be him, without the expectations of more. And that it might be wrong, but it made sense.

"No date, none interested." He sent back, his heart again racing as he waited. And he did not have to wait long before his phone chimed.

"Ha! Don't believe that. You would have to be dead for that to be true." He could almost hear her teasing tone as he read it, and chuckled some. He could understand knew how it was that some people could communicate better this way, it was easier than baring ones thought feeling to the person in person. It also delayed the rejection or it would possibly not feel as bad when it happened. He was still thinking of a response when his phone again chimed.

"Hard case?"

Her question came and he shook his head in response, the case itself had not been particularly difficult or complex. _"No Abbs, just missing you."_ He said aloud, but that was not what he sent her; "Just the down of the case."

He knew she would understand, however there was a long pause and he was about to give up on a reply, about to place his phone back on the table, when it rang.

He felt his heart drop to the floor, he really did not feel up to another case. He lifted it just enough to check the identity of the caller, and smiled as he answered, "Hey Abbs."

"Gibbs." Her tone was the usual buoyant one he knew, and it made the distance that separated them all the more prominent. There was pause of silence between them, because he had no idea what to say to her. However she was the first to speak, "I thought this would be easier for you."

Gibbs nodded, forgetting that she could not see him, and then said; "It's faster."

"You wanna talk about it?" Abby asked, and he knew she meant the case, but he had no desire to discuss things, or what he was feeling at that moment, it scared him.

"Not much to talk about Abbs, we got him.' He said instead.

She remained silent for some time before stating, "But something's bugging you, I can sense it."

He didn't reply, knowing she would only push the issue if he did. And were it anyone else he would have simply ended the call.

"Was there another woman who threw herself at you, another damsel in distress that you had to save?" Abby asked, and although her tone was somewhat teasing, he could pick up an underlying note of antipathy.

It caused him to laugh and shake his head, replying. "When does that happen?"

"Well I can think of at least once a month," She quickly replied.

"Not that often Abbs." He countered.

"Hey! I'm the one watching them make fools of themselves." She playfully replied.

"So what are you worried about?" Gibbs asked, then realized what he had said. It sounded like something he would say to a girlfriend.

There was a short period of silence, something that told him he had said the wrong thing, and she was trying to come up with the correct response, one that would be keep their friendship on the same footing. He knew women, and for a moment he wanted to take it back, but knew he couldn't. he made to say something, but she beat him to it.

"Because one day one of them will stick around for longer than a case." Her voice was serious, but without seeing her he could not determine whether she was downcast or just serious, he only had the words to go on. Which made it that much more difficult to decide on the right response.

"Not dating anymore, Abbs, better for everyone that way." He said, knowing it to be the truth, for as much as he got hurt he knew the others were hurt as well.

"But you get lonely." Abby countered.

"Don't get lonely when you have kids." Gibbs said, having used the excuse many times before.

"Don't give me that," She quickly, almost angrily replied. "It might work with others but this is me."

Gibbs thought about it for several moments before he replied, knowing she would possibly never figure it out, and if she suspected he could always claim insanity. "It's complicated Abbs, it's not just something that," He had no idea how to continue, for he knew she was smart enough to counter his every excuse.

"Everything is difficult Gibbs, but you are not alone, we are all here. Where are you anyway?" Her disjointed sentences confused him, but he knew they would at some stage make sense, whatever she said usually did.

"On the couch?" He answered her question instead.

"Oh, I thought you only did your serious thinking in the basement," She replied, her voice conveying a less serious tone.

"Not thinking seriously Abbs," It was the truth, he tried not to think too seriously of her, he knew that little good would come from it.

"How much have you had?" She calmly replied, but he knew she was mentally calculating his level of sobriety.

"Why?" He questioned, needing a greater indication of her intent, he knew how easy it was to avoid difficult repercussions, only because one was inebriated at the time to be cautious about what was said.

"I need to know how seriously I should take you." Abby replied.

"Abbs." He said, not knowing what else to say. He had always been careful not to say anything he did not mean to her, even in the heat of the moment. The problem remained that there were things he wanted to say to her, things that were inappropriate for their relationship, things that would possibly cost him their friendship.

"Yes, I know you won't say anything you don't mean, but I just have to know that your mind is not addled by something. Abby quickly added, sounding for a moment as if she was blathering.

"When have I ever said anything under the influence," He replied, trying to inject some humor in his voice.

"Good point." She replied, and his rouse must have worked for she continued, "So no dates, no basement, you reading?"

"Actually I was getting ready for bed." He said, knowing she would ask him what he was reading, and he had yet to select a book.

"Oh," She sounded suddenly taken aback, "Then I had better let you get to bed."

"You got a hot date or something?" He asked the question even before he could prevent it, knowing he actually had no right to ask her that, but his tone had bee light so he hoped that she would not realize what an impact the answer would have on him.

"Why would I?" She replied as if it was the most illogical question he could have asked her.

"Well, Abbs, lots of likewise people there." It was an easy answer, and her not having a date made it easier to answer.

She didn't answer him directly, which got him concerned, "Abbs?" He finally questioned, needing to know if she was still there.

"It is complicated," Abby replied, throwing his own words back at him, her voice seeming somewhat hesitant.

"It's dating Abbs, it's not rocket science." He said hoping to cheer her up.

"Rocket science is actually easier, the variables are not dependant on mood and opinion." She said but then grew quiet for a moment, before continuing, "Besides, it's a little difficult to date when it's not the person you want it to be."

Her words caught him off guard, she has always been honest with him about things, but this was the first time he heard that she was actually interested in someone.

"Forget I said that," She quickly countered.

"Can't do that Abbs, he quickly replied, the thought already twirling in his mind, trying to come up with the answer. "It doesn't work like that."

"Well it doesn't matter anyway, it's not like he'll ever look at me in such a way. So just forget it. I've gotta go, sleep tight," she irritably said and then the line went dead.

Tried as he might he could not get to sleep that night and spent the better part of the following morning watching everyone at work. It was a puzzle, a mystery he wanted to solve, having only come to the conclusion it had to be someone at work, because she did not spend a great deal of time away from work, and even then her routine was set. He tried to imagine how Abby saw everyone, but found it increasingly difficult, mostly because although she seemed trivial, she could . She had a good relationship with everyone. Which made it even harder to really pinpoint anyone.

By lunch time he felt a headache start up, and even DiNozzo looked his way in concern, more than once. They could say what they wanted, the younger agent was perceptive, at times too much so. And this time he could not just escape the younger agents gaze by going to the lab, beyond the fact that he had no reason to go down there, but then he had not really needed one in the past. Going to see Abby was just one of those things he had done, along with getting coffee and going to MTAC, no one ever questioned his reasons.

Everyone knew he was protective of her, needed to know where she was, that he had a deeply ingrained, instinctive need to keep her safe, but them most of the members on the team felt that way. He looked at DiNozzo and again considered the possibility. The image of DiNozzo and Abby lying together on the lab floor filled his mind, and he felt his ire rise, he did not need that detailed a confirmation. But he shook his head, Dinozzo had seemed too effected by Ziva's departure. But then Abby's words came back to haunt him: _"It's not like he'll ever look at me in such a way."_

His first instinct was to deny it, there was no way, Abby knew DiNozzo too well, knew of his reputation with women, it was tainted, much like his own, she would not be that foolish… But then love made fools of everyone, you did not get to choose whom you fell in love with, it just kinda happened.

Tony tilted his head before asking, "Anything on your mind, Boss?"

Gibbs shook his head, "Thinking something over," he said as reason and watched as Tony nodded before continuing with his report.

Gibbs again thought over everyone on the lower levels, everyone she had regular contact with. It was not Palmer, that he knew, she has never been overly affectionate to him, and he was married. Ducky was totally out, he was more like an uncle to her. There was that crew that came in every so often to overview the sterilization of the lab, not that the place was ever messy, it was just that Abby was very particular about things like that. He could not even remember when last there had been an "ozone day" as Abby referred to them. The first time he had seen it, she had explained to him, and the reason why the lab had been on lock down for most of the day. He could not understand that by simply pumping in a gas could disinfect a lab, could sterilize a lab, However it was much quicker that having it scrubbed and sprayed every so often. And they have never had evidence thrown out of court for contamination.

He tried to think when last the lab had been gassed, who they guys were, and if it was the same crew that came to do it every time… He would have to ask Ducky, since the morgue usually also got done.

He tried to remember if there had been anyone that she had shown any partiality to, but could come up with nothing.

He returned home that evening, still non-the-wiser. He knew it would only be another day before she returned to the office, and suddenly questioned his need to know. If he was younger he would have considered that it might be because then he would have a yard stick, something to measure himself against, determine if he was good enough. He thought for a moment of simply asking her for they guys name, possibly offer to head-slap some sense into the guy, but then he would know. And although it would bring an end to the uncertainty, it would result in numerous, uncomfortable, feelings he knew he should not stir.

He looked at his phone, but shook his head, there was no way he could enter into conversation lightly with her, and put it on the kitchen table, before making his way to the basement, he would find something to keep his mind and hands occupied.

That night e did not receive a message from her, and it hurt, he had no idea why, it just did.

*·.·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·. N.C.I.S. .·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·.·*


End file.
